Human Nature

Hi all

I was just having a chat with my brother Colin about human nature.. mainly the church and relationships... this is the conclusion I came to...

It is human nature to take controal or should I reword that follow a leader... Now what do you mean by that some of you may ask well it is easy.. in the wild and in humanity it is always the survival of the fittest... the stronger Lion will take charge of the pack, even if they don't want to be.. someone or something always needs to be in control ie Alpha male / Alpha female.. or things fall apart... In a relationship if one has less confidence than the other or both are weak due to lets say bullying when they were younger or physical and verbal abuse from say teachers and family, or weight issues or other life happens one will step up be empowered and take control, sometimes even until it becomes abusive.. mentally abusive.. verbally abusive etc because it then becomes one sided.. the one being abused may try to fight back when others are around because they feel safer with physical support to back them but then in the long run may end up making them selfs look worse and instead of strengthening there confidence they collapse even further... if you can convince someone they can't think or act on their own.. eventually they will believe it, they will live it.. and they become easily swayed and weak... Trust me I have seen this happen!

Now this also applies to the Church.. I have personally seen the power of the Holy Spirit or whatever you want to call it... I am living proof of this, having survived a brain tumor I had when I was 14.. and I also know personally that this spirit moves where it wants and when it wants... it does not say no because you don't follow all the rules written by man.... it does not say no because someone saw you screw up and used it for their betterment even though they were uh lets say having an affair that no one knew about which was a hell of allot worse than anything you had done, but it was not your style to bring this to light.. you without sin cast the first stone.. hmm yeah Jesus did say that didn't he.... yes It does wants when it wants for the power of Good and the betterment of the universe and the beings within it! Now where the Church or should I say most human ran religions are wrong is that they were founded by this same spirit through the same Jesus Christ who was real and did exist I don't know what this trend is these days to re write history and try to convince us otherwise because it offends some people... that is like saying that my house is blue when it is brown.. anyway off topic but related... and the church was left to Peter... who was human.. who had flaws... as time went on we had some strong leaders and some weak leaders some who were easily swayed and some who were corrupt and in it for them selfs and this was all dragged along with it.. what started of as a pure flowing river has been tared with corruptness by humanity... Now these same people in leadership who are having affairs or whatever they are doing when one screws up takes it upon them selfs to let the other know.. and drags them down tries to put them in a box... now the Spirit is like a bird free to fly wherever it wants... if a bird is put in a box and not fed it dies ... so does the spirit within a person if it is not fed and allowed to grow.. this is were the church has it wrong.. the church needs to let go of this human reaction to take control and let the Spirit be free and move as it likes... raise people up don't destroy them for your betterment, because you have a guilty conscience and this person who is a little different than the rest.. to destroy them brings you a bit of joy in your shallow life....love one another as Christ taught us to and get off you high horses and realize you are not in control God is or whatever you like to call it.. this same entity just leaves you in trust... the anal retentiveness of todays church leaders are scaring people like my brother away and me too!! I will never loose my faith and my beliefs but I refuse to pay into their phony lies that hurt and kill the soul... wheres' the truth in that reality... I want more I deserve more and I long for more.. real pure spirituality, which I may not get untill I die... but I can wait...

until that day- J

Home

Hey all

I finally made it home it took me two days to get here but i made it. I feel so different, I dunno what it is exactly but something about me is different, I feel motivated maybe, more confident, refreshed and ready to take on whatever is thrown at me.. I have been finding myself slipping back and then jumping out you know.. not letting things get to me at much and caring about the things that really matter.. my real friends, my family and my loved ones.. I love it. I saw Ed today we talked a bit about his dad.. Ed told me his dad thought I was bad news.. it is so funny with that, in life I am eccentric, but not enough. I have my moments but I am not bad enough to play DJ with the girls, because I am not bad at the end of the day I know where I came from, and I respect people who respect me. Ironically Eds dad spoke to me about how happy he was I was on the ships at one point.. either way he is gone and I need to be there for Ed he is my friend, but I still don't like Joey.(my old drummer). It felt kinda weird hanging out with Jevon, you know, we had a pint at the Steam-works in Vancouver, went to see my new friend Kaylee in concert, I liked it though wanted to mainly listen and chat a bit last time I saw him I offloaded this time I attempted to be who I was and it didn't feel right so I cut back... I think I am going to go to church tomorrow. Jean stopped by today to I was disappointed none of us meaning me and my bros were on Roy's' Tribute video, but I am used to being left out now.. dad made a good point at the end of the day they aren't blood, they are like family to us but not our family... Doty was the same the same happened there, Nana was the same the same happened with her.. everyone was acknowledged except us and the fact we are not in England with the family there even though they are family the same will probably happen there.. I received a letter stating My ex has applied for an Annulment that excites me I have felt unwelcome in the church since we split this will clarify that.. well maybe i am feeling like this because Spring is here a time for new beginnings new life or maybe it is because my Springtime is finally here and it is my turn to right the wrongs.. as Roy would of said stating the great Frank Sinatra "Mistakes I've made a few but then again too few to mention, I did what I had to do and saw it through without Exemption, I've lived a life thats full I've traveled each and every byway and no oh no not me I did it My way" I have done it my way and not in the box and you know what no other way would work for me. SO sorry to everyone I have hurt I never meant to do that, but next time read between the lines and you may se the fuller picture I love you all and you know who you are.. night - jj